CONTROLLED CHAOS

1.CONNECTED

it`s not good to feel too much it`s not good to feel nothing
scared of the bottom scared to climb up caught in the middle of nothing
it`s been too calm for too long
it`s only right to raise a storm tonight

anything goes if it helps me forget again my life`s on hold I gotta stay connected
anything goes if I can be someone else again gotta get connected

it feels good to be this numb it feels good to feel nothing
in the center of this rush I can`t help but feel nothing
it`s been too calm for too long
it`s only right to raise some hell tonight

2.TWIST THE KNIFE

twist it
picked up the necessary habits for survival
ignorance is bliss when you`re living in denial
barely hanging by a thread
just hang in there from your neck
feel free to leave me incomplete

our last words heard you scream behind my back
yeah your words are like knives when you strike back

a life without you seems so pointless now
I know I have to face itsomeday somehow
one step instead of two
echoes inside an empty room
feel free to leave me in pieces

our last words heard you scream behind my back
yeah your words are like knives when you strike back
our last words heard you scream behind my back
yeah your words are like knives when you attack

come twist the knife in my back

scream behind my back
scream our last words till you come crawling back

3.IN BETWEEN

in between reality and dream

what waste of time what waste of energy
after all dreams are just dreams solitude is what I need
nothing left here for me but endless wasted possibilities
I`m not the man I feel I need to be solitude is what I seek

same empty eyes staring back at me
can`t understand who it is they see
they don`t recognise me

a cycle I can`t break reminds me every day
this shame that I feed a parasite like me

my total freedom my true identity
I find outside the box nailed shut where one day I shall roam free
all of my self-respect my wasted creativity
from self-destruction to self-production for a brief moment I see

a cycle I can`t break reminds me every day
this shame that I feed a parasite like me
cycle still rotates as I fade away
to somewhere in between reality and dream

remind me who I used to be

4.BELOW

just a little rat next to a snake
a thieving left hand about to make a mistake
cut yourself off no use for idle hands
set yourself off a bomb waiting to blast

what makes you tick what makes you explode
what`s your next fix who do you follow

an honest heart with a criminal mind
inside my head I`m doing my time
the whole truth or a little white lie
to cover up this crime against life

pay the poison you tasted it`s bittersweet
don`t play with fire if I said you can`t take the heat
give it all up it`s the sweetest relief
tomorrow comes although your sense disagrees

what makes you tick what makes you explode
what`s your next fix what eats you hollow

there`s no life like no life
this bumlife is not life

 

5.BLACK SNOW

all four closing in out from the back door
I`ll be long gone before the card house falls
if the trail`s gone cold you`ll find me from the smoke
every burning bridge leaves it`s mark on the snow
hard to keep moving when cold petrifies me

what`s left to show mistakes in a row
trouble will follow wherever I go s

something to believe in someone I can trust
through the smoke I see them as they turn to dust
tie up the loose ends with my cut off past
all I`ve left unfinished can make me whole at last
hard to keep moving when fear petrifies me

follow the black marks on the snow
follow me

6.CROSSROADS

choices I make all meant to be chosen
the same bones I break all meant to be broken
don`t believe a word I say lies not meant to be spoken

all for respect what did you expect
on razor`s edge slowly step by step
without regrets not afraid of death
I must confess lately I haven`t been myself

pick a path pass the point of no turning back
leave what youhave at the heart of the crossroads
sky turns from grey to black future becomes the past
look back and laugh at the heart of the crossroads

choices I make not meant to be chosen
the same bones I break not meant to be broken
no I don`t believe in fate

everything`s cheap nothing comes for free
best things in life are just too much for me
going nowhere is easy down on your knees
sweet self-pity starting to sound like me

slipping through my fingers
watch life slip slipping away
slipping through my fingers
atleast I got myself to blame
 

7.FEAR

inside my head you planted a seed
of doubt and fear started to grow on me
some bad memories are now all it needs
turn my best friend into my worst enemy

all I keep hearing in my head is
all I keep thinking never knowing if you have...
all I keep hearing in my head is
all I keep thinking never knowing if I have been betrayed

fear that consumes you destroys all that you love when
the last thing you should be is afraid

I don`t know how long I`ve been awake
I only know it`s longer than I can take
demons of the past can drive a man insane
when fear of losing what you love turns to hate

am I paranoid or is it just you again
too paranoid to see I`m just right again betrayed
 

8.NO MORE EXCUSES

a long way down a longer way to the top
today was over by the time we got up

no more excuses
besides the problem just playing time
not a way to live just waiting to die

wake up from this dream now or never
fall back to sleep deeper down forever
wake up from this dream
before we fall back to sleep

no more excuses just misdirected hate
when head weighs too much
too much to carry the weight

besides the problem just playing time
not a way to live just another way to die

wake up from this dream before
we fall deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper

I don`t feel fine with us playing time nothing but lies and it`s alright

9.MANIPULATOR

hear the sirens on the street
hear them calling for you
this never resting machine keeps me hypnotized
six months in a blink of an eye line for a line

all the tricks of the trade all the years in the cage
made you nothing more than a manipulator just a manipulator

and vultures keep circling
his master`s voice silences the truth
respect comes from power that controls us tools

and vultures keep circling around my nest
they`re waiting for the day when I`m down and defenceless
brainwash the weak-minded manipulate the honest
it`s all clear now once all the fine lines are faded

hear the sirens on the street
hear them calling for you
I hear the word on the street
is that they`re coming for you... through me

with friends like these
no need for enemies
such a fine line between
a friend and an enemy

10.SHALLOW WATERS

just drift away with the flow
just let go let the river flow let the river grow

I`ve seen the truth in a different light 
barely recognised it
when the cash flow justifies
any means necessary

betrayal runs deeper than these shallow waters
truth means nothing when you`re drowning in this river of lies
drowning neck deep in this filth

just keep talking yourself clean
your words are empty and your hands are bloody we are bleeding

betrayal runs deeper than these shallow waters
promises mean nothing when the truth is hard to find
problems lie deeper than these shallow waters
truth means nothing when you`re drowning in this river of lies

punishment to fit the crime when you drown in your own lies

drowning neck deep in this filth

11.DEAD END OF A CHAPTER

open your eyes
believe my lies
I`m the angel in white the
devil in disguise

make my heart beat faster
everything seems clearer
take me higher than ever
break me down harder than ever

now that I`m awake I just can`t go back to sleep

I`d like to apologise for everything that I`ve done
it`s time to leave behind everything that I love and run
I`d like to close this chapter in my life
it`s time to close this chapter in my life
you make me feel sick
you`re the only thing that cures me
make me feel like I`m something
make me feel like I`m nothing

rather be alone by myself than alone with someone else a dead end ahead
I wanna recognise myself when this story ends a dead end of a chapter